InsaneJournal

Current mood:	indescribable
Current music:	Dr. Dre & Eminem - Forgot About Dre

Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
Okay, so this afternoon I took a nap and I had a really bad dream and a really good dream.

The bad one was first.
Somehow I ended up with a baby rat. (Not entirely relevant, but I was at my parents' house, not my house. My mom was there too.) Like, only a few days old, very tiny. The thing was sick and barely alive, and I honestly didn't think there was any chance of it recovering. I couldn't bring myself to kill it, so I was going to let one of my cats eat it. D: In real life this would be a terrible idea, but in my dream it seemed like something that would be over quick, and wouldn't "waste" the animal... like feeding it to a snake. I didn't think the cat would torture it or anything, just eat it. My mom thought this was an okay idea too. So I said goodbye and that I was sorry, and put down some kind of big roundish container in front of the cat, and put the rat in it. I couldn't bear to look to watch, so I kind of walked away and said "Go ahead, get it over with", and went to talk to my mom across the room. The rat didn't make any noise while the cat was eating it, but I could hear the eating/popping/crunching noises. It was awful. But it didn't last long. I kind of looked over, and the cat didn't finish it; it only ate part of the face. Like, the top of the snout, the eyes, most of the front of the head. A lot like that faceless cat, but more of it was gone, including the eyes. And... somehow it was still alive. Not, like, flailing around in pain, just trying to walk around. Almost moving like normal, actually seeming stronger than ever. Soon it became clear that it was going to live. I had made a horrible mistake. If I had stuck with it it would have lived, and now it was going to have to live deformed like this for the rest of its life, if I didn't kill it, which I didn't want to. But I felt like I would never be able to live with myself, never forgive myself for making such a mistake.