Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

Time	Event
4:27p	Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say Okay, so this afternoon I took a nap and I had a really bad dream and a really good dream. The bad one was first. Somehow I ended up with a baby rat. (Not entirely relevant, but I was at my parents' house, not my house. My mom was there too.) Like, only a few days old, very tiny. The thing was sick and barely alive, and I honestly didn't think there was any chance of it recovering. I couldn't bring myself to kill it, so I was going to let one of my cats eat it. D: In real life this would be a terrible idea, but in my dream it seemed like something that would be over quick, and wouldn't "waste" the animal... like feeding it to a snake. I didn't think the cat would torture it or anything, just eat it. My mom thought this was an okay idea too. So I said goodbye and that I was sorry, and put down some kind of big roundish container in front of the cat, and put the rat in it. I couldn't bear to look to watch, so I kind of walked away and said "Go ahead, get it over with", and went to talk to my mom across the room. The rat didn't make any noise while the cat was eating it, but I could hear the eating/popping/crunching noises. It was awful. But it didn't last long. I kind of looked over, and the cat didn't finish it; it only ate part of the face. Like, the top of the snout, the eyes, most of the front of the head. A lot like that faceless cat, but more of it was gone, including the eyes. And... somehow it was still alive. Not, like, flailing around in pain, just trying to walk around. Almost moving like normal, actually seeming stronger than ever. Soon it became clear that it was going to live. I had made a horrible mistake. If I had stuck with it it would have lived, and now it was going to have to live deformed like this for the rest of its life, if I didn't kill it, which I didn't want to. But I felt like I would never be able to live with myself, never forgive myself for making such a mistake. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Dr. Dre & Eminem - Forgot About Dre (Comment on this)
4:44p	Oh, I want to go outside Now, the next dream I had was CONSIDERABLY better. I dreamt that I was the Doctor's companion. I think for most of the dream I was Martha, though my name was something considerably different. (Something very foreign-sounding, starting with a J.) It was a new Doctor - - I dunno if it was the one who replaced Tennant or some other one my brain made up. We were on some kind of crazy adventure, of course. But somehow or another, the Tennant-Doctor came back. Like he still existed separately somehow, but in a different dimension or different time or something. (I think maybe he mighta actually been from another timeline/dimension.) We went to some kind of fair or carnival or something. I think it was on Earth, but a different Earth, and a couple decades ago. I say different Earth 'cause I wanna say the money was something weird I had never heard of, and other little things were different. Of course, something bad happened that we had to stop, and crazy hijinks ensued, involving us chasing some baddie around the city. At one point we were in some kind of tunnel/alley, and we had kind of slowed down, and I was like "Well, it's now or never; I'll probably never see him again", and I grabbed him and kissed him. One thing led to another, and things escalated, and we ended up having hot, passionate, CRAZY amazing sex right there. Ohmigod. And the thing was it was SO incredibly real. Probably one of the best sex dreams I've ever had. (The one with Aphrodite would be high on that list too... but I digress...) It was really sad, though, because, again, I would never see him again after this. And again, I was in character as Martha, so there were so many things I wanted to tell him; I had missed him terribly. That was his last night before he had to go back to his dimension or whatever; he was only here to fix whatever this "episode's" problem was. In the end, the danger wasn't entirely over, but he had to leave. But there was something that indicated that the Doctor from before him (Eccleston, that is) might come back too, or there might be some way of summoning him. Of course I was like "O RLY?" and I remarked to somebody that I had always had a thing for him too. Which wouldn't normally make sense if I was Martha, but there was something weird about that too. It was almost as if, in this version of the story, the Companions actually regenerated into each other, or shared the same soul, or something like that, so they really were all the same person. (Or a Trill kind of thing, without the actual weird symbiote.) So I remembered being in love with him when I was Rose, and I felt pretty sure he had shared that to some level with me. Unfortunately, I can't remember what came of that; if he actually ended up coming back or not. Bummer. Current Mood: horny Current Music: Repo! the Genetic Opera - Infected (Comment on this)
5:04p	I remember every dying whisper, every desperate murmur There's another dream I had, this one from a couple weeks ago, that I've been meaning to write about. I dream that I saw Steph... I was talking to her for a long time, though as usual, I lost most of the conversation when I woke up. But... it was SO real. Probably the realest dream I've ever had about her, maybe one of the realest dreams I've ever had. I could see every detail; it was as real as somebody really standing in front of me in real life. The only thing was... and the only thing I could remember her telling me... was that she didn't want me to look at her face. I could see her face sort of peripherally, but she didn't want me really _looking_ at it for some reason, she kept stressing that. Towards the end of the dream (I don't know how I know that a dream about her is about to end, but I always know when it's almost over) I insisted on looking her in the eye. I hadn't even dreamt about her in months, and I missed her face. But when I looked at her, I saw her face, but I also saw something else. I don't know if it was something "behind" her eyes, or something kind of superimposed on her face, or just something I "saw" in my head when I looked at her. But it wasn't her, it was something or somebody else. It might have been a face, but it didn't really have any eyes, maybe sockets. It was something cold and dead and very strange. And deeply, deeply unsettling. And a phrase or idea popped into my head, I dunno if somebody "told" me this or what, but the idea was that this wasn't something I was supposed to see. Specifically, I think I was told it was something that _living_ people were not supposed to see. It was really, really scary, and a little sad, but I really want to know more about what it was and what it meant... Current Mood: sad Current Music: Repo! the Genetic Opera - Night Surgeon (Comment on this)

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