Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ravenhex's InsaneJournal:

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Thursday, June 25th, 2009
4:46 pm	Had a dream last night about joining a Repo! shadow-cast. (It's probably because I keep seeing ads for the local one on campus, and one of my coworkers mentioned recently that she's joining them.) Also had a dream a couple nights ago about being a sailor-suited super hero. I had some kind of crazy rainbow/iridescent/sparkly outfit, and Sailor Mars-ish powers. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
1:14 pm	Hi dream journal, it's been a while. I had another zombie dream last night. Zombie outbreak, lots of people dead, not safe to go outside alone. My parents and I were holed up in their house (I'm pretty sure it was my parents, anyways), and I had at least one of my cats with me (I remember Loudcat was there; _maybe_ River). The house didn't feel safe, though... too many windows, sliding glass door... I felt it wouldn't be difficult for zombies to break in and get us. So I wanted to leave and find somewhere else to squat, maybe an apartment. (I can't believe that I would just leave my parents behind, but whatever...) So I started calling around (??) and found out that some people had taken over an apartment building and were renting out pretty safe rooms. (What good is money in an apocalyptic zombie world, though?) I was thinking about going, it was less than $50 bucks rent (maybe $47?) but I had to make sure I could bring my cat(s)... Current Mood: hungry (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
5:04 pm	I remember every dying whisper, every desperate murmur There's another dream I had, this one from a couple weeks ago, that I've been meaning to write about. I dream that I saw Steph... I was talking to her for a long time, though as usual, I lost most of the conversation when I woke up. But... it was SO real. Probably the realest dream I've ever had about her, maybe one of the realest dreams I've ever had. I could see every detail; it was as real as somebody really standing in front of me in real life. The only thing was... and the only thing I could remember her telling me... was that she didn't want me to look at her face. I could see her face sort of peripherally, but she didn't want me really _looking_ at it for some reason, she kept stressing that. Towards the end of the dream (I don't know how I know that a dream about her is about to end, but I always know when it's almost over) I insisted on looking her in the eye. I hadn't even dreamt about her in months, and I missed her face. But when I looked at her, I saw her face, but I also saw something else. I don't know if it was something "behind" her eyes, or something kind of superimposed on her face, or just something I "saw" in my head when I looked at her. But it wasn't her, it was something or somebody else. It might have been a face, but it didn't really have any eyes, maybe sockets. It was something cold and dead and very strange. And deeply, deeply unsettling. And a phrase or idea popped into my head, I dunno if somebody "told" me this or what, but the idea was that this wasn't something I was supposed to see. Specifically, I think I was told it was something that _living_ people were not supposed to see. It was really, really scary, and a little sad, but I really want to know more about what it was and what it meant... Current Mood: sad Current Music: Repo! the Genetic Opera - Night Surgeon (Comment on this)
4:44 pm	Oh, I want to go outside Now, the next dream I had was CONSIDERABLY better. I dreamt that I was the Doctor's companion. I think for most of the dream I was Martha, though my name was something considerably different. (Something very foreign-sounding, starting with a J.) It was a new Doctor - - I dunno if it was the one who replaced Tennant or some other one my brain made up. We were on some kind of crazy adventure, of course. But somehow or another, the Tennant-Doctor came back. Like he still existed separately somehow, but in a different dimension or different time or something. (I think maybe he mighta actually been from another timeline/dimension.) We went to some kind of fair or carnival or something. I think it was on Earth, but a different Earth, and a couple decades ago. I say different Earth 'cause I wanna say the money was something weird I had never heard of, and other little things were different. Of course, something bad happened that we had to stop, and crazy hijinks ensued, involving us chasing some baddie around the city. At one point we were in some kind of tunnel/alley, and we had kind of slowed down, and I was like "Well, it's now or never; I'll probably never see him again", and I grabbed him and kissed him. One thing led to another, and things escalated, and we ended up having hot, passionate, CRAZY amazing sex right there. Ohmigod. And the thing was it was SO incredibly real. Probably one of the best sex dreams I've ever had. (The one with Aphrodite would be high on that list too... but I digress...) It was really sad, though, because, again, I would never see him again after this. And again, I was in character as Martha, so there were so many things I wanted to tell him; I had missed him terribly. That was his last night before he had to go back to his dimension or whatever; he was only here to fix whatever this "episode's" problem was. In the end, the danger wasn't entirely over, but he had to leave. But there was something that indicated that the Doctor from before him (Eccleston, that is) might come back too, or there might be some way of summoning him. Of course I was like "O RLY?" and I remarked to somebody that I had always had a thing for him too. Which wouldn't normally make sense if I was Martha, but there was something weird about that too. It was almost as if, in this version of the story, the Companions actually regenerated into each other, or shared the same soul, or something like that, so they really were all the same person. (Or a Trill kind of thing, without the actual weird symbiote.) So I remembered being in love with him when I was Rose, and I felt pretty sure he had shared that to some level with me. Unfortunately, I can't remember what came of that; if he actually ended up coming back or not. Bummer. Current Mood: horny Current Music: Repo! the Genetic Opera - Infected (Comment on this)
4:27 pm	Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say Okay, so this afternoon I took a nap and I had a really bad dream and a really good dream. The bad one was first. Somehow I ended up with a baby rat. (Not entirely relevant, but I was at my parents' house, not my house. My mom was there too.) Like, only a few days old, very tiny. The thing was sick and barely alive, and I honestly didn't think there was any chance of it recovering. I couldn't bring myself to kill it, so I was going to let one of my cats eat it. D: In real life this would be a terrible idea, but in my dream it seemed like something that would be over quick, and wouldn't "waste" the animal... like feeding it to a snake. I didn't think the cat would torture it or anything, just eat it. My mom thought this was an okay idea too. So I said goodbye and that I was sorry, and put down some kind of big roundish container in front of the cat, and put the rat in it. I couldn't bear to look to watch, so I kind of walked away and said "Go ahead, get it over with", and went to talk to my mom across the room. The rat didn't make any noise while the cat was eating it, but I could hear the eating/popping/crunching noises. It was awful. But it didn't last long. I kind of looked over, and the cat didn't finish it; it only ate part of the face. Like, the top of the snout, the eyes, most of the front of the head. A lot like that faceless cat, but more of it was gone, including the eyes. And... somehow it was still alive. Not, like, flailing around in pain, just trying to walk around. Almost moving like normal, actually seeming stronger than ever. Soon it became clear that it was going to live. I had made a horrible mistake. If I had stuck with it it would have lived, and now it was going to have to live deformed like this for the rest of its life, if I didn't kill it, which I didn't want to. But I felt like I would never be able to live with myself, never forgive myself for making such a mistake. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: Dr. Dre & Eminem - Forgot About Dre (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 6th, 2008
1:40 pm	A love like ours is love that's hard to find... how could we let it slip away I had a dream last night about having a big party at my house, the night after another party. I wasn't home early in the day, and I started getting phone calls from people who were already on their way, wanting directions. I started to tell one of them that I wasn't home, but then I looked at the clock - - it was 8:30! I headed home very quickly. A few people arrived. For some reason, my pockets were full of keys and cell phones. I started to pull them out to see whose they were. At one point Dorothy called me on my phone to see if I had seen Squared. Apparently _she_ was having a party that night and was looking to see if he was coming. She made some comment apologizing for her party drawing people away from mine. I was a little irritated that she kept planning parties on the same nights as mine. A couple people managed to identify some of the phones and keys, and they took them to return them to their owners. One person said a particular phone was Mego's, and asked for it to give it back to her, but they didn't really know her that well so I said I would just return it myself. One set of keys went with one of the phones (don't ask me how I knew). The set of keys said they belonged to Amanda... I used the cell phone to call my phone to see what number came up, and I realized it was Sarah's phone and she had borrowed the keys from her friend Amanda. And then the doorbell rang and there was some kind of government agent at the door. (FWIW, I was renting a house from my actual landlady, but it looked like my parents' house.) I panicked at first, but he was actually from the county and wanted to talk to me about drainage on my property. He walked me out to the front yard... most of our front yard was done with rocks, like Ofir's house. Apparently our rocks went too far down and were interfering with draining, which was against certain county ordinances. The guy was pretty friendly, though he seemed a little clueless. He gave me a brochure showing the problems and explaining the laws, and I promised to notify Brenda right away. Now, here's where it gets bad. When we were walking out front, the guy accidentally bumped into a fire ant mound. I was like "Oh no! Fire ants!" and he just kind of ignored it... as a few started to come out of the mound... and a few more... until there was a SWARM of them coming out and after us. I freaked out as he nonchalantly walked back to the house. I was running but I could barely outrun the swarm. I had to walk through them at one point and I could feel myself getting bitten all over my legs. I picked up one leg... and then I picked up the other... and I realized I could just swim through the air if I kept moving and held on to the tree branches, using them to guide me and using them as leverage. (Part of my brain realized I was dreaming at this point. Wish I could have held onto that!) I got into the house, and the swarm followed me into the house! But as soon as they got past the door most of them disappeared/dissipated, leaving only a few in the house. (When it comes to fire ants, though, a few is too many...) Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Chicago - If You Leave Me Now (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
3:20 am	You want to love me underneath it all I had this crazy dream last night... it wasn't even from my point of view... or I should say that it was from my POV but I wasn't me, I was somebody else. I was some guy, specifically. And there were all these other guys I knew, or at least in my dream I knew them. Anyways, the dream was about a big orgy on a tropical island with the Disney Princesses. Yeah. They were all there. I specifically remember Aurora (who I was with), Ariel (who Abe Sapien was with - - ??? ), Snow White, Meg, Jasmine, and a couple others... yeah. It was weird. There was more to the dream, but I can't remember. I think the crazy of that orgy drove everything else out. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: No Doubt - Underneat It All (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 21st, 2008
2:49 pm	Silver baby come to me, I'll only hurt you in my dreams Okay, so I had a dream Sunday night that was much more pleasant than that last one. It was kind of funny, actually. So Olivia was talking to me because she ran across this notebook she had found at the henna shop years ago... she didn't know who it belonged to, but somebody had written what looked like a love poem, describing her beauty and everything. In my dream Olivia wasn't her "real" name; her legal name was Ellen, and whoever wrote the poem knew that and addressed her as such. She knew I worked at the henna shop around the same time (it was from around '03), and she wanted my help figuring out who wrote it. It was a cheap green spiral-bound notebook, like the ones I always use. Well, I didn't want to tell her, but I had written it. I didn't 100% remember writing it, but it was my notebook, my handwriting, and my writing style... sounded like something I would write, though I could only vaguely recall writing it. It was like looking at myself in an entirely different life. I pretended like I didn't recognize it, and said I would help. First thing I did was Google a couple phrases of the poem to see if anybody else had seen it, or if I had been copying it from another source. All I could find was a post Olivia had made to an LJ community a couple years back trying to see if anybody could identify it. (I think a couple people laughed at it. :P ) I can't remember much of the poem, but it was full of mythological allusions, including mention of Laertes. Now, I don't know if it was actually Laertes from mythology or from Shakespeare, but I'm almost certain it made mention of a weapon of his - - I want to say it was "Laertes's bow", but I'm not 100%. The only thing I know for sure was that it said Laertes. (I've heard other people can't read in dreams, but I was reading this poem as clearly as something in real life. Just didn't retain much of it.) I know Odysseus had a bow, but I dunno if it had originally belonged to Laertes or what. In the end I fessed up that I had actually written it, 'cause apparently even at 18 I thought she was gorgeous. She was like "Yeah, I know." She  thought it was cute; she just wanted to toy with me and get me to confess. Heh. There was a LOT more to the dream (like, an entirely different plot going on), but unfortunately I can't remember the rest. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Belly - Feed The Tree (Comment on this)
2:43 pm	Outside the dawn is breaking on the stage that holds our final destiny Okay, I had an awful nightmare a few nights ago... I dreamt that I was hanging out with Ramon at the house, but I came into the kitchen and found that there was a small fire on the stove. Actually not on any of the burners, it was in the center of the stovetop itself. Ramon laughed at me for having another kitchen fire. And then the dream changed a little, and River was sitting in the middle of the stove, and Loudcat was laying on the edge of the front left burner. I realized he was dead, like he had gotten burned or shocked. His fur was all messed up, and some of his guts were coming out. I started screaming and screaming; it was one of the most horrible things I had ever seen. But there was no sound actually coming out, I was just standing there with my mouth open _trying_ to scream. Ramon didn't even know anything was wrong. It made me think of a dream I had a couple weeks ago, where I got shocked in the kitchen and was trying to scream for Squared for help but I couldn't make a sound. So in this dream I was like "It's like that awful dream I had, but it's real!" But luckily it turned out it wasn't. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Moulin Rouge - The Show Must Go On (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 10th, 2008
6:13 pm	Had a dream last night that I was hooking up with this girl... she was SUPER-cute (she was shapely, pale, and possibly redheaded) but when I went to go down on her she looked like she hadn't showered that day, and there were little bits of smegma and stuff D: It wasn't HORRIBLE, but it was still a little off-putting. Current Mood: sore (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 9th, 2008
3:09 pm	Wow, I haven't updated this in a long time. Anyways, I had a dream a couple nights ago that was pretty interesting. (I've had some dreams since then but I've already forgotten most of them.) I had just gotten my car repaired. Luna was coming to town and I was picking her up at the airport. I was on the highway and it was splitting off; on the left was a ramp towards the airport and on the right was the 408. I was already in the left-hand lane, and then I was like "Oh, wait, I need to be on the 408!" so I cut over to the other lane. And at the last second I remembered that I WAS supposed to be going to the airport, so I cut over at the last second. Well, there was a pothole between the lanes, and my car slipped into it and it broke off something under my car. For one thing it broke off my muffler. I stopped the car and called my mom. She told me to get in the car and start the engine and tell her what I saw. I looked out the windshield and the air looked really wavy, like there was a lot of heat (or gas) in the air. She told me to turn the car off and call a tow truck, that something had sprung a leak. For some reason I had two FBI agents named Mulder and Scully in the back of the car. But strangely, not the same Mulder & Scully from the X-Files. We were investigating something together, and I was driving. Anyways, when a highway patrol officer stopped to check out the accident, I was petrified that he was going to write me a ticket for only having a very expired insurance card on me. But he didn't even ask for my insurance & registration. He just took a look at my license, and then he was like "Well, you're with those two, I guess you're okay," and he took off. Eventually my mom came to pick me up, and we went to Costco. It was about 10 minutes before closing and they were annoyed because they couldn't close the last register until we left, and Mom was taking her sweet-ass time. Also, I had a dream the next night about going to the movies with my friends (there was also a scene at Universal.... huh) and in my dream, Robert Downey Jr. had been cast to replace Heath Ledger in the next Batman movie. Huh. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Di Gi Charat - Only One No. 1 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
12:54 pm	Lonely is the night when there's no one left to call I remembered one of my other dreams from last night... I was hanging out with some of my guy friends at the house, and I was supposed to pick up another one from his house later (he was supposed to call me when I was supposed to pick him up). One of the other guys I was hanging out with was telling me about this party he went to recently with that guy, how the guy was all excited because they were playing cards and as part of the game this one girl was taking her top off. I was all bitter, "What's so special about her", yadda yadda. It was kind of out of character for him, too. Well, right as I was on my way to pick him up, he shows up at my house. For some reason I was about to leave anyways, and I was like "Well, I guess I'll see you when I get back," and then I was all "Wait, no! The whole reason I was going was to pick up you; I'm not going anywhere." For some reason I was annoyed; I guess that he didn't tell me he had a ride to my house. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Billy Squier - Lonely Is The Night (Comment on this)
10:41 am	That was many years ago... I had a couple dreams last night, but I can only remember one... I ran into this girl I had gone out with a couple times and I've been talking to again recently, and in my dream she said she had given up on me because she had gotten tired of waiting. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Sweeney Todd - No Place Like London (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
11:29 am	I don't know, I don't know Had kind of a terrible dream last night... there was some crazy infection going around (dunno if it was zombies or what) and there was somehow a date to it - - like anybody infected was going to go through something horrible, probably die, at midnight on this particular night. In my dream my brother got infected, my parents were almost certainly infected, and I wasn't sure if I was or not. The last night, my family and I were sharing tearful goodbyes and long-unspoken secrets, because we didn't know if we would be alive the next day. My brother wasn't living with my parents; he was living with a friend and surprisingly he headed back there at the end of the night instead of staying with my parents as I was. This was going on all over the world; it was going to be chaos the next day. The end of the world, I guess. I had another dream that was much tamer. It was about a small, first-year convention and there was this acquaintance of mine from high school there... for some reason I was helping her with something. (Dunno why I'd be helping her, I don't really trust/like her...) I guess maybe it was something for the con. Anyways, she needed tape. Duct tape, electrical tape, something. Well, I couldn't find any duct tape, but one of the vending machines had "nipple tape". (What?) It was basically a small roll of black electrical tape with some kind of purple (and occasionally pink) sealing wax. $2.75. Way weird. So I bought her that. She got to the line for the costume contest, and there was a HUGE line, including a lot of Japanese people. I was surprised, because I hadn't seen that many people at the entire con. The con was spread out across a couple buildings, too. Current Mood: rushed Current Music: Across the Universe - Something (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 5th, 2008
2:16 pm	But what do we need? I had a dream last night that I was a comic book heroine... kind of a sidekick character, but functioning as a main character, not a sidekick. I was basically to Aquaman (or maybe Namor) what Supergirl is to Superman. I was on some kind of mission, acting out something that had happened in one of the comic books. I was trying to find a swimsuit in my house that wouldn't make me look awfully fat. (Obviously my black bikini was out; I was trying to find my black one-piece.) I can't remember who the villain was, though I was teamed up with another superhero. I think I may have been blonde. It was all very strange and comic book-y. Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Chumbawamba - What We Want (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 4th, 2008
12:09 pm	I wish I could protect you here, oh, please don't cry So a couple nights ago I had a dream about Steph... In my dream, I knew a way to contact her somehow, or I still had some kind of connection with her. It had something to do with somebody still having her phone. Like, I didn't contact her through the phone, but that had something to do with everything. I don't know what. And for some reason, to talk to her I had to go to this one particular part of the airport. Dunno if it was inside a terminal or not, but it was at the closer end of a long windowed walkway. It was during the day when I went to meet her. I went there, and there she was, standing there... we talked for a long time... we had to stay in this one particular spot, so we just stood there to talk... and upon waking I couldn't remember a goddamned thing we talked about. It was more pleasant than the last dream I had... there was something stressful or something in the last dream I had about her, something she wanted me to know that I wasn't getting. It was nothing like that this time. We just talked for a long time, but our time was limited. When I knew our time was almost up, I got really sad. I think I started to cry. (Honestly, I'm almost crying just typing this up.) I know I held on to her, I may have kissed her but I'm not sure. And I still can't remember exactly what she said to me, but it was less of a "Goodbye" and more of a "Talk to you later". I got the strong feeling that that we would meet to talk again. I hope we do, and soon. Talking about it makes me a little sad, but it was really nice to see her again. "Nice" is not a strong enough word, really. ----- I also had a weird dream that night about skateboarding. *shrugs* Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Voltaire - Feathery Wings (Comment on this)
Friday, March 28th, 2008
3:28 pm	I'm a million different people from one day to the next Had a quasi-dream last night about making out with/fucking Agent Cooper/Kyle MacLachlan. I say "quasi-dream" because I wasn't 100% asleep yet, but it was definitely taking on a life of its own. He was wearing shorts and socks, I think, and nothing else. I feel the need to watch some Twin Peaks now, ha ha. Also, apparently there's some gay porn video called "Twink Peaks". HAHAHAHAHA. Current Mood: horny Current Music: The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
11:41 am	Dreamt last night that I was over at the house of Shane (from the L word) and she was making me dinner. We were waiting on something and I was kind of wandering around her kitchen looking at all the ingredients. A lot of it was stuff she had gotten from Costco. Part of it was this big vat of sauce and vegetables and stuff, and I looked at the ingredients. I was like "I'm very sorry, but I can't eat this, it has chicken in it." And Shane was all like "No, it's cool", she kept telling me she was a vegetarian too, and it didn't actually have chicken. I was skeptical. She said it did have shrimp, but she was cool with that. And I kept apologizing sincerely, but I said I couldn't eat that. :/ She kind of threw up her hands and was like "Fine, I'll figure out something else", in partly mock exasperation. I kept apologizing. Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Loreena McKennitt - Santiago (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
3:02 pm	I've been travellin' a hard road, looking for someone exactly like you I had a dream last night about going to California with a bunch of people from Rocky... mostly the gay boys, I think. I specifically remember Michael and Logan. I think I got lost at one point... I ended up at a weird bar, and a video store, and some weird public bathroom... eventually I caught up with the guys and we went to Disneyland. But we only rode a couple rides, and they were the same stuff we have here at Disney World. When we were leaving, I was saying "Man, there was something I really wanted to do but I never did, and I can't think of what it was now... I know there was something I always said I would do if I ever went to Disneyland!" and finally I remembered... the Tiki Room! I didn't go to the Enchanted Tiki Room! I loudly lamented this, and Logan was all "OMG TIKI ROOM!" and we started singing the Tiki Room music. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Van Morrison - Someone Like You (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
11:26 am	Does it make you nervous? Oh it makes me nervous Had a dream last night about the end of the world, but it wasn't zombies this time. It was aliens. Aliens were coming down and slicing up our planet and frying people and whatnot. I was travelling on foot with somebody - - at one point it was George, but at another point I want to say it was Stephy, and at another point I think it was somebody else. It seemed like it was always night in this dream. Maybe the sun was blocked out with smoke? Anyways, we got some weapons and were travelling to major cities trying to find survivors, I guess to band together. The first couple cities we went to were gone. Just... gone. And at one point we noticed that all the cities that were gone had been encircled by something - - either a circular river or big circular fence or something. I wondered if the aliens had picked them just for being major cities or if having circles around these cities had made them into big targets from above. We eventually found an underground development, with a subway and a hotel and, surprisingly, some nightclubs. Yes, the club scene was still alive and well. At this point it was me and Stephy... we ran into this girl we knew there. I remember having a painting of this girl. She was black and she was GORGEOUS. I don't think she's anybody I know in real life, but in the dream me & Stephy both knew her. Anyways, we were talking to her while she was on her way to the club. I was being super-nice because I had a huge crush on her. Stephy started to walk away to go sit down somewhere, leaving me to talk to the girl. And all of a sudden she says something absolutely venomous, calling me pathetic or something. I walked away furious. I poured a glass of water or some kind of drink over the painting of her, ruining it. I sat back down across from Stephy, and she looked very surprised. I mumbled some kind of response about what a cunt the girl was. Later instead of me and Stephy it was me and George... we were checking into the hotel. It was a pretty decent room, what with the world ending. Squared was in the hotel too. I remember something about flavored coffee... they had all these CRAZY flavors of instant coffee. Mint and honey and all sorts of things. It was really thick when you mixed it up. But they only gave us enough supplies to make one cup. =( It was looking more and more hopeless, like there was no hope for humanity at all. And I knew that if we continued our journey the next day there was a chance we would be killed, that we might not even reach our destination. I was torn between continuing my journey or just staying there and fucking my way into oblivion with whoever I could find. I think I decided to continue the fight, but the dream ended before I got to the next morning. The weird thing is... you know how normally when you wake up you can't get back to a dream? I was waking up all morning when my alarm woke up, I hit snooze, and went back to sleep and right back into the dream. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Mindless Self Indulgence - Brooklyn Hype (Part One) (Comment on this)